chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
