he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize