I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
