You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
