i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
