I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
