If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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