Define "chronic" masturbator.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize