you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
