I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
