I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
