My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Vodka?
Forever.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
