you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Life is so much better after having sex.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize