I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
