I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
