I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
