I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
