Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
