saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
