i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Randomize
