So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Your cock deserves a montage
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
