It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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