Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
