Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
how can u be prego again
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Are we still banned from the library?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
