BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
