i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
