I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
