Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize