my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
