I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize