I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
