Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
