Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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