Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
