There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Randomize
