is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
