a queef is a wish your heart makes.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
