I'm going to jail i love you
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
