in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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