I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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