I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize