Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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