hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I accidentally burped into my bong.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize