I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
