Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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