He disabled his match.com account in front of me
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
