next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize