how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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