he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
