So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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