there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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