You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Randomize
