Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
