Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
