Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
