Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
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