omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
