The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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