Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
