Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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