lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Found the puke drawer
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize