Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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