Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
