he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
